I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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