Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
