he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
