the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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