dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
