Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
