Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize