Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
