Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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