you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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