This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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