She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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