The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
