This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
