I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
