if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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