careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
