omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
