Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize