check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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