I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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