chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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