Say something about gay babies.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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