mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
