I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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