I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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