You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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