WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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