you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
