i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
