Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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