I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize