so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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