I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
