I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize