Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
