Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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