Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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