i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
