I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
