i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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