Sry I called you an 8
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
