who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize