You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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