I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
