i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
