I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
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You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
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Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia