I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
