I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
