So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
