1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
