Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize