i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
