his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
