Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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