You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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