I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i now understand why vodka
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I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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