i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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