Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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