we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
