This girl is more easily done than said...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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