Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
