Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize