let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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