Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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