Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
