She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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