you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
