Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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