he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
